What is Loneliness?
Loneliness is not just about being alone.
Loneliness is not just about being alone. It is just as possible to feel lonely, even amongst a group of friends. Rather, loneliness reflects separation from other humans. We are a social species and constantly need to make contact with members of our own species; of our own tribe. Some people are more social than others, but we all have a need to connect and communicate with others like ourselves. Unfortunately, all too often, someone can be left feeling they are from a different planet.
Relationships and a feeling of being in control are the keys to managing loneliness. The worst triggers for loneliness are loss of an important relationship or relationships. One of the worst times can be the first term at university, or the first week at your first job when social skills may still lonely despite the presence of lots of people frequently reflects a poor relationship with self (low self-esteem), and less efficient social skills.
Loneliness can occur when:
- You are facing changes in your life – a new school, town, job, or other changes;
- You feel there’s no one in your life with whom you can share your feelings and experiences;
- Your self-perceptions are that you’re unacceptable; unlovable; not worthwhile even if other’s don’t share those perceptions.
One of the best ways to counteract feeling lonely is to try to get involved with other people by offering help. Imagine the world is a big party where you don’t know any of the other guests, but by offering to hand round sausage rolls, drinks or sandwiches, you feel useful and stand a better chance if getting to know people and vice versa.
However badly you feel about your situation, make a positive choice to not isolate yourself from the rest of the world but to somehow join in.
